Monthly Archives: December 2013

Santa's Slay

‘Santa’s Slay’ DVD Commentary a Lump of Coal

(I doubt anyone would read a review of the commentary before seeing the movie itself, but just in case…. SPOILER ALERT!!)

It’s Christmas morning, time to open presents. You’ve been eyeballing the gifts under the tree for weeks, judging their size, shape, and weight, then cross-referencing that with what you asked for, and adjusting for the personality-type of the people buying for you—will they stick to the list or go for a surprise, and what are the odds that surprise will be a good one? You think you know what you’ve got coming to you, except for that one gift tucked deep beneath the tree. It could be that watch you asked for, but it smells faintly of the worst medicine you took as a kid.

You decide to open it halfway through the other gifts so you can forget about it and get back to the good stuff, a trick you learned growing up as the middle child. You tear the paper and open the box with polite enthusiasm and for a second you see a shiny set of keys to what must surely be a shinier new car, but then you look closer and see a rusted miniature back-scratcher that’s as likely to give you tetanus as any kind of relief.

That basically describes the experience of watching Santa’s Slay. Continue reading